Pleated Skirts and Perverts
by UndoneChaos
Summary: First Kyman fic ever! Kyle is dared to wear something no boy should ever have to wear, but what happens when Cartman shows up?


**A/N: Boom-pa-doom-pa-doom ba-di-di-di-doomp! Yeah, I have no idea what the Hell that was about. So, as you all know, I've been writing Campout currently. And I promise that I will finish that. I mean c'mon. I can't **_**not**_** finish it, I haven't written my Creek and Dip smut yet!**

**Anyway, what my blue parka clad self is trying to tell you is that I'm taking a short little break to write this. It's my Kyman fix, I've been dying to write this for ages now! This one won't be too smutty, probably more fluffy. But if I get enough reviews for a smutty Kyman, I'll write one. M'kay?**

**M'kay.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own South Park. I just trap their characters in my basement and make them sing me show tunes. While Kenny and Tophe feed me sorbet.**

**Yeah, IK I'm weird.**

**Title: Pleated Skirts and Perverts**

**Pairing: Kyman**

**CA: They're thirteen in this. (My age!)**

**Rating: T for terrific age appropriate smut! Wait, wouldn't that be TAAS?**

"You have got to be kidding me!" Kyle shouted at Ike from down the hall.

"Nope, that was the dare", the eight year-old responded, sticking his head out of the door to look at his brother.

"No way am I wearing this thing. Not even for a second, let alone a whole day!" Kyle whined, walking down the hall towards Ike. In his hand was a pale blue strapless half-shirt and a white pleated mini _mini_-skirt, along with a lacy black thong. Ike just grinned and walked back into his room.

Kyle was fuming. Why did he ever agree to his stupid Canadian brother's Truth or Dare rules? He for god dammed sure wasn't running down the street in his mother's underwear, pulling on his hair and screaming 'I grew a vagina' at the top of his lungs, but he figured that the dares wouldn't be _that_ horrible. I mean, come on. What could an eight year-old possibly think of?

"Ok, then. You just go ask mom to borrow her undies cause you grew a pussy!", Ike screeched with laughter.

"No! Ike, just listen to me. Please don't make me–" he was cut off by his brother slamming the door in his face. He could still hear the younger boy's laughter.

Kyle groaned and walked into his room. Standing in front of the mirror, he began to strip. First his shirt came of and then his pants, his blue plaid boxers being last. He then looked at the thong in his hand.

"Curse that little rat…" he said, looking from the thong to himself in the mirror. He finally decided that he was'n going to pussy out. He slid the thong on, silently hoping his mom and dad didn't decide to come home early.

"Ow, what the fuck?" Kyle said as soon as he had gotten the stupid thing on right. He sighed nce more, looking at himself in the mirror. He then slid the skirt on, scootching it up over his _very_ feminine hips and and fitting it into place. He turned around, looking at the back to see how much his butt hung out of it.

"Seriously, this is the _last_ time I'm playing Truth or Dare with Ike, ever", he stated, looking at his butt which hung out of the skirt practically halfway. He then turned back around and slid on the last article of clothing, the shirt. It was a little tight and kind of pinched at his skin, but once he moved it stopped.

He stood still, examining himself in the mirror. His curly, red hair hung around his face girlishly, bouncing around at every move. He had quite the curves, especially arund his hip area.

"Son of a bitch, no one better come over today", he silently hoped just as Ike walked into his room.

"Wooh! Hot mama! Jesus, bro, I didn't think you could pull it off but _daaaaay-um_!" Ike said, whistling at staring at Kyle.

"Oh, just go over to Filmore's already", Kyle spat, trying to cover any uncovered skin–and there was much uncovered skin–on his body.

"Okay, jeez! I'll be home tomorrow, gimme a call if you need me", Ike said, holding up his phone. "Bye!" he called, walking out of Kyle's room and down the stairs. Kyle finally heard the door shut and knew Ike was gone.

"I could take this stupid thing off", Kyle thought aloud, walking down the stairs to his living room, "but then I really _would_ be a no-good lying Jew rat like Cartman says". So he instead chose to keep the damn thing on, sitting down on the couch and turning the TV on.

He had been channel surfing for about three minutes, finally setting on Terrance and Phillip re-runs, when he heard a know on the door. Momentarily forgetting what he was wearing, he walked over to the door and opened it.

"Hot fuck, I came over here for some cash, not a hard on!" Kenny shouted, holding his hand up to his nose to stop the bleeding. Kyle's face flushed as he looked down at what he was wearing.

"God dammit, Kenny! Jesus, you're so crude sometimes", Kyle whined, again trying to conceal him inage from Kenny's prying eyes.

"Seriously, dude. Hot damn and holy fuck. I am like turned on to the max right now, you don't even kno–" Kenny was cut off as Kyle slammed the door in his face, running into the living room and hiding under a blanket.

"A'ight, I'll just go ask Stan for some money, _Kyla_! But don't think I'm dropping this, I want to know all of the juicy deets about you dressin' up in girl clothes!' Kenny called, and with that, walked to Stan's house.

Kyle whimpered and burrowed into his couch, trying to let it swallow him whole. But, seeing as that didn't work, he decided to get up and make something Kosher and diabetes safe. He pulled out some ingredients and started to randomly form some sort of concoction together.

"I smell Kosher food, are you eating in there, Jew boy?" Kyle froze as he heard Cartman's voice at his door.

"Oh, God, of all of the humiliating–" Kyle criend, putiing down the knife he had just been using, but not before considering suicide from embarrasment.

"I'm coming, so wait your fat ass!'' Kyle shouted, grabbing a blanket and wrapping i around himself as he went to answer the door.

"Yes, dumbass, what do you want?" Kyle asked. Cartman took one look at him and started to laugh.

"Do you have a cold or something? You're wearing a blanket like a Roman robe! HAHAHAHAHAH–" Kyle cut him off.

"God dammit, fatass. WHAT DO YOU WANT?" Kyle yelled. Cartman looked up at him questioningly, tears of laughter running down his chubby cheeks.

"I want to know what you've got under that blanket, Jew. It's got to be pretty funny for you to hide it from me", Cartman stated, looking from Kyle's emerald eyes to the blanket around him.

"NO! For all you know, I could be naked under this", Kyle groaned. Time to face the enevitable.

"I'll _pull_ it off if you won't _take_ it off", Cartman said very seriously.

"I hate you with a passion, fatass. This isn't me being submissive, this is me doing what was going to inevitably happen in the future", Kyle said, and with that dropped the blanket around him.

Cartman gawked. "Holy shi–Oh, my go–What the–Fucking–Seriously–", Cartman gibbered, at an obvious loss for words. Kyle rolled his eyes.

"I'm wearing girl clothes. Yes, I know", he said, boredness in his voice.

"You look like. A. Girl", Cartman said simply, before pushing his way past Kyl and plopping his butt down on the couch. "Is that why it took ou a while to answer the door, hmmn? You just had to dress your faggy Jew butt up for me, huh?"

"God dammit, no! It was a dare. I have to wear this stupid thing the whole day", Kyle explained, standing in front of Cartman. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go make myself lunch or I'll pass out", he said, and dumbly turned around, placing his half-covered ass in Cartman's face.

"Jesus MotherFucking Christ!", Cartman said, staring at Kyle's ass.

"What now–Oh, shit! I forgot. Sorry for putting my ass in your face, fat boy", Kyle apologized dully, and started to walk away.

"Mmn, no. You ain't going anywhere", Cartman said sadistically, reaching down and grabbing Kyle's hips before pulling the Jew down onto his lap.

"Cartman, what are you do–" Kyle was interrupted and Cartman slapped a fat hand over his mouth.

"Shh, my little Jew. We're just going for a little… _ride_", Cartman breathed, before turnig Kyle around and kissing him squarely on the lips.

Kyle gasped, leaving Cartman pefrect access to rape him mouth with his fat tongue. Kyel's eyes widened and he stilled, fighting every inch of his body not to move against Cartman.

"C'mon, Jew. It ain't fun when you don't kiss back", Cartman smirked. Kyle was still fighting the urge, but he figured that this was probably all one crazy dream, and that there was _no way_ fatass would kiss him, and gave in.

Kyle lightly touched Cartman's tongue with his own, and soon they were having a full out fight for dominance.

"That's more like it", Cartman smirked, grabbing Kyle's ass. "Now, Jew, go make me a sandwich", Cartman laughed as he pushed Kyle off of him.

**Well, folks, so what do you think? Should I write some hawt as shit BDSM smut between these two? Hah, I bet you're all looking at me like "THAT'S THE END?" and yes, it is. I said this was rated T for **_**terrific age appropriate smut**_** not T for SUPER HAWT BDSM THAT IS NOT AT ALL AGE APPROPRIATE FOR ANY AGE.**

**Should I though? Write some smut, I mean. Tell me what you think in your reviews!**

**Caio for now**

–**Chaos**

**EXCUSE ANY ERRORS**


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